Gone are the days, when women used to don only two genres of roles one as a stay at home mother and another as an independent working woman. But the expectations from her were nonetheless same, being a perfect homemaker and a working lady.
With changing times, women have evolved and have shown immense endurance and courage in changing with times, keeping themselves up to date with the growing trends in the market, they no more are just sole bread makers, they have gone all out in being the bread winners, much to the effect that majority of industries today have women speer heading them. Which only boosts the confidence completely changing the phrase, you give a woman a fish, she will know how to cook it but if you teach her how to fish she will fish and feed you for the rest of your life and her as well. That’s the power of a woman.
I always used to wonder, the sheer potential a woman carries in her is like the usage of the subconscious mind, whereby only barely 5% of our brains gets used in our lifetime, and the rest is untapped resources, which people have no intention or the time to explore. But for a woman, she is processing millions of information at the time and juggling innumerable roles that are dumped on her, naturally as well as society wise.
So, after having successfully managed home, kids, and finances by working outside or from home, ….there is this priceless role, that she dons, that is of a genuine confidant, whereby, she has the sheer patience to put up with all of her work as well as home stress but when it comes to her spouse, she is always all ears and is ready to save him and pull him out of any situation… For she has the capacity to bear the stress, which most men crumble.
No offense though, to the saner men who would beg to differ. Contrary argument would be pretty much accepted, if the male spouse is equally contributing in the marriage, but this post is mainly dedicated to the poor women souls, who are still slogging it out, in various roles, and still leave too much to be desired and fulfilled by their complaining and non appreciative spouses who finally end up taking their lady for granted.
But women have been perpetually adept at multitasking and donning several roles and guess what, without a complaint, and to say the least, without looking for appreciation, do have a expiry date for their ‘I can put up with anything you lay on me’.
Somehow with changing times, women are not afraid to make their own choices both in the familial front as well as at work. In the familial front, they are increasingly breaking the trend of arranged marriages and going all out to choose the man that they want to spend their life with, without feeling guilty. And god forbid be it a bad choice, they are willing to take that risk and if the marriage were to go wrong, they are even willing to give up rather than the women of yester years who considered themselves as indispensable resources, who let them be exploited to the core and without a complaint, for it was imbibed in them, that this was how they wer supposed to be, as fed to them by their even old generationed thinking parents…..
So somehow letting self respect go for a toss, in the pretext of rituals, morality, and lop sided societal opinions. So the farther behind you go, the more preposterous comment and views about life you would find, women justifying and accepting to live with rather then voicing their opinion to do the least.
But gone are the days, when the lady of the house was walked all over like a door mat, expected to be the ideal bahu, in some houses be the bread winner as well an ideal bahu, an ideal mother, so on and so forth.
Thus donning the role of a corporate lioness at times, at times a stay at home wonder mom, a super bahu, a more than willing confidant, a psychologist and then a new breed, work at home & office super woman including super bahu.
Can’t imagine how we do it, but somehow, a woman is capable and has the potential and sheer endurance to juggle so many tasks at once, and not even get tired.
But in today’s times, does it just end there; it also includes the role of being a psychologist. With the growing stress and increasing aspirations of the people and work places where they are pushing the employees to the wall and getting as much done, there is this new role of being a psychologist to your man, whereby the lady also the capacity to lend a patient ear to her man and relieve him off his stress, she even has the capacity to tell him, if you are unable to handle the work pressure, you can cool off, I’ll take care of the finances.
They are turning out to be truly the complete support system to their spouses, which shows the capacity of a woman.
But what is she getting in return, after being a confidant, what does she do with all the information download of the man’s work stress, she just absorbs, what does she do with the stress of running a household adeptly and being as much of a man at work and getting tasks done and also looking after and raising the modern generation kids by not letting them go astray and trying to somehow inculcate the soon fading value systems…and if she fails for some reason, she also puts up with the tag of being a bad parent.
Having done all this, the least a lady expects is an understanding partner, what I noticed today is, despite being this super woman, there are still some spouses, who expect even more out of a lady, merely dismissing her feats as mandatory and nothing special, and take the women for granted. Let alone the fact of not even appreciating the humongous effort she puts in completely managing the household, work, children, parents, in-laws, societal commitment’s, etc. This is the last thing a woman wants is, to be dismissed as all this was expected of her, when she signed up for marriage and also chose to have a fruitful career.
Now soon the trend is beginning to change then gone will be the days, that these super women would accept the ideology, ‘So what, this is expected of you, what different are you doing, all married women have to look after their households, if you are ambitious you have to know to juggle work and home, take care of the kids, take care of the in-laws, relatives, etc. etc…..You were anyways supposed to do this, remember when you signed up for marriage’.
Sadly in all this, the men forget that the marriage was of equals, and she did not sign a contract saying she is going to be sole, helmsman spearheading the ship of life, and he can get away being the captain, now the tables have turned, its time he took the steering and she gave the directions. The least the super woman of today wants is understanding, patience, a ear to listen to her woes, and above all not be taken for granted. And she doesn’t have to pay such heavy price for fulfilling her aspirations. They say men and women are equal, but this phrase still has to percolate deep in the Indian patriarchal society/ household.
Today if the women have the freedom to choose their spouses, and they conveniently change after marriage, and completely take the back seat and let the woman drive, non-stop there is bound to be a point, when it would all end…and a woman would go in her shell…and would want to disconnect and shut herself… For these growing expectations of her as a person, are too daunting and inhuman, yet she puts up with all this, with a smile on her face. Be the wife that she is, the mother that she is, the work colleague that she is, the boss that she is…There is a threshold for all this. And she too is human.
Need of the hour is to understand the woman of today, who don’t call for appreciation, but that is the least one can give them. What amazes me the most is, if we were to de-clut the super woman of today, then sky would be her limit, she would be capable of doing and achieving so much more.
And what she is really looking for today is peace, tranquility, time out alone, to do whatever she wants, live the way she wants, explore new horizons, avenues. That just makes clear the phrase there is nothing, really a woman can’t do….if only you give her the chance…
And she can not only reach places, but she has the capacity to build a new world…all over again, if she has to.
This is my salute to the women of today….
Cheers! To all Women….Have a great day ahead…